I’ve been feeling really low but today I feel much better, I think I may have turned the corner in the past couple of days. I have been eating really well and exercising as well, and I haven’t been getting the feelings of do I had before.
I’ve lost a bit of weight, a bit more than I thought I would have done at this stage and I just feel like I have got a bit more energy than I used to have. It could just be my mind, but I certainly feel more positive.
I still haven’t tried this dietary supplement for hunger suppression and weight loss that I was considering taking. It sitting there looking at me, and it is making claims which sound realistic, but I just want to give doing it naturally bit more time first. I think I have to try and conquer my use of food as a mood booster on my own, because if I rely on something to do it for me, then am I dealing with a problem or am I creating another problem instead?
Anyway, the great news is I am feeling good about things. Tomorrow I’m going to progress from walking to jogging. I’m only going to do a short half mile jog round the block the first couple of weeks, just to make sure I can do it without having to stop or give up, so that I feel I am making progress. Once I’ve done that handful of times I will then progress to doubling it so that I can run a mile.
I will keep doing yoga a DVD each week as well, and I am also looking at my diet to see if I can tweak any improvements to it. Which is great news and I’m feeling really positive about everything now. But obviously I am vigilant against what could happen, because I’m very aware that with the way I am attached to food emotionally that something could trigger an eating binge at any time, and I have to be watchful for that and have a plan in place to stop myself from doing it.
It’s a bit sad that I’m having to write this, but it’s my birthday today, so happy birthday to me. My parents don’t live near me, I don’t have a partner, my children are both under four, so apart from a couple of mates, there’s not really anybody around to celebrate it with.
I’m doing things a bit differently this year because last year I remember buying myself a cake and eating most of it. I basically did a bit of a binge eating thing and I think that is at the root of my problems. I feel low on my birthday at the moment because nobody is around and it’s a bit of a lonely occasion for me, and it’s made me realise how few people there are in my life at a key time when you should be happy.
And again, it brings home to me how much I associate using foods to try and lift my mood at bad times.
But today I’m doing it positively. I started the day with a smoothie, a vegetable smoothie, and a handful of nuts. I have had a really good lunch with salad and whole grain rice, and for my evening meal I had boiled potatoes meat and vegetables. So I’m really happy with my progress. I have not had anything bad today and I have only had a few food cravings.
The only thing I have done today which perhaps I regret a bit is I did buy a product called phen375 because I want to try a dietary supplement to see if it can help with my weight loss, I believe through hunger suppression mostly. It does claim to be a supplement that increases my metabolism, but I’m not sure I believe that.
However, I’ve done it and it will arrive next few days, so hopefully I can give it a go. Things like this do seem to be safe, and I think the worst thing that can happen is that they don’t work and not just chucked my money down the drain.
But anyway, it’s my birthday and I managed to get through one piece. Tomorrow I’m going to go for a long walk and maybe even do yoga DVDs well, so I am on the up at the moment and that’s really positive.
I think I probably have had emotional eating problems all my life. My parents used to give me food when I was upset and I think that this set the precedent for me. From an early age I obviously started to associate eating with being made to feel more comfortable after a bad feeling or event.
I think this is why I have struggled in the past couple of years. I had a bad breakup and have since had to look after my two children on my own, and I’m very lonely as well, and because of the age of my children I am unable to really work, which means that there are not many opportunities for me socially and it’s been getting me down.
This has meant that I have eaten a lot more than I should have. When you’re sitting there in the evening tired and lonely, staring at rubbish on the television, it’s very easy to eat to make yourself feel distracted and better. It’s something that I have come to realise and I now know is at the root of why I am putting on weight now.
So as I said before, a key part of getting my weight of control is to first of all get on top of my food cravings and stop them. I have looked at getting a dietary supplement that can suppress hunger, I’m not sure about this yet, but I am seriously thinking giving it a go.
But first I’m going to just try and deal with my emotional eating. I’m going to read a bit and follow a plan, and I’m also going to look at ways I can do something else when I feel under pressure. Whether it’s going out for walks, hit something, I don’t know, I’m going to look into a bit more and see how I feel.
To put a positive on this blog post, I am at least confronting it now. I am the least aware of it now, where as I was probably in denial for several years about it. So this is real progress from me and even though nobody may ever really read this, getting it out there in the open has been very therapeutic for me.
Okay this has been difficult for me, I haven’t got any idea what I’m doing so I have been researching on the Internet for about a week now about the best way to do a diet and exercise regime that doesn’t cost much money and that can be fitted around other things.
The other problem is I have low motivation and low self-esteem at the minute, and I suffer from comfort eating. I think the focus has to be initially on getting my eating on track. If I start trying to exercise but am also still overeating, then I don’t think my metabolism will increase that much and I think that generally I will just be fighting against the tide.
So the focus initially is on my diet. I need to reduce my food cravings by eating filling foods that are also healthy. I’ve also been looking at whether there are dietary supplements out there which can help with hunger suppression. I’ve been researching and I may go and buy phen375 as a starting point. I’ve read a lot about it and it seems to be the real deal, but I will look into it more before I try it.
But initially I just want to get my core diet sorted out before I look at other things like supplements, I want to try and eat more fruit and vegetables, more whole grains, and less carbohydrates and sugars. To be cutting out things like pasta, most rice and obviously sweet things as well.
When it comes the exercise of thing I’m going to just get myself into a gently by doing yoga DVDs in between looking after my children.
After two weeks of doing that, I’m then going to ramp things up by starting to jog so that I do some cardio and I’m then going to look at shifting my dietary plan up another notch.
So that’s the plan I have in place the moment. I’m going to start tomorrow with the new focus on my diet and going to do yoga DVD for an hour as well. That’s not a great deal, but if I do the yoga twice a week and focus on my food intake, then I will be well ahead. The other thing I’m going to talk about is my addiction to food as a comfort, that’s going to be a real danger and I’m going to look at some ideas how I can suppress it.
I’ve never written a blog before and to be honest it’s taken me a little while to get my head around how to set up an account and use the blogging platform itself. I am not stupid and I do use computers but perhaps I’m just not used to things like publishing and word processors.
Anyway, that’s not important, what’s important is that this is my new weight loss journey blog. Basically I have put on a lot of weight over the past couple of years because I’m a single parent with two young children and it’s been incredibly difficult for me to eat well and exercise with so many things to do my life. I don’t get any help from my ex partner and he is not even in the same city as me now, so I am totally on my own, because my parents aren’t here either.
I do have good friends who help me out, but mostly I’m on my own and at times very lonely and it’s got me down a bit if I’m honest. So it’s not just about the poor lifestyle, it’s also about the fact that I think I comfort eat and that has led to be putting on a couple of stone in the past two years, which has started to get me down even further.
I’m going to talk more about that with you and discuss what my plan is in the next blog post, I just wanted to say hello to anybody who’s going to read this, because to be honest not sure how people read a blog or how they find it, but hopefully they will. Although I have to say it doesn’t really matter they do or don’t, what’s important is that I’m holding myself to account by regularly writing him how my progress is and how I am feeling about everything.
I think I generally just feel a bit lost in life and I don’t have many goals and ambitions of the moment, at when I’m fighting just to keep two young children on the right track on my own, it is very difficult to look beyond the immediate couple of days, which is not really any way to live a life but I don’t really have much choice the moment.